Mayonnaise Jar & two Beers

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.' The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty=2 0space between the sand. The students laughed.. 'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.' The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend. LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS... ...IT'S LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN !

MAn Bashing

My supervisor is so sweet and the same time she's so funny and I woulsd like to share this funny story to ya'll.This is just for fun....to make you smile ......

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.." The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain." The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?" The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

I would like to share this TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT.

Twenty Nine Lines To Make You Smile

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5... Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes

11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18 . Procrastinate Now!

19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!

Rodeo Houston 2009

Welcome to the word’s largest livestock exhibition and the world’s largest Rodeo event! The 2009 Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo kicks off March 3-22, and is quickly approaching over 2 million in attendance – requiring 19,000 volunteers! Going twenty days strong, Rodeo Houston is held at Reliant Park, and features bull riding, parades, carnivals, BBQ, wine tasting competitions, and loads of shopping! The Houston Livestock and Rodeo will feature Cattle auctions and cattle judging. Traditional trail rides, which start in different areas of Texas and finish in Houston, precede the rodeo. As a long standing rodeo tradition, March 16th has been deemed as Go Texan Day, where Houstonians and visitors alike are expected to don their best cowboy digs. Another tradition is the Rodeo Parade that kicks off the event. And check out the parade stats: 15 trail riders, 20 floats, 15 commercial wagons, 15 university and high school marching bands, dignitaries on horseback, and lots of balloons, all heading down Memorial into Texas avenue! One of the headlining Rodeo events is the super popular Calf Scramble, featuring 14 calves and 28 students trying to harness them and place them in the winners square. Students care for and prepare their prize calves, and the winner returns the following year with a $250 bonus! Most notable in Rodeo Houston are the celebs and concert performances in Stand-Up, Rock, Tejano, Blues, and Hiphop. In fact, the rodeo has drawn the world’s biggest music legends – does Elvis Presley ring a bell? Yup, he was a Houston Rodeo Performer! And 2009 will not disappoint. Kicking off the event is country superstar Tim McGraw, and set to perform are Faith Hill, Rascal Flats, and tween superstar Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana, making Houston Rodeo Tickets a serious must have! Join the party, and let’s Rodeo, Houston!

The Dog and the Rabbit

Hubby loves to reminisce.He loves to write about the past and share it to his friends,kids and of course to me.Tonight he send me an email,a story about his pet dog. I think it's funny for me.So I want it to share ya'll.

I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN YEARS AGO. I HAD A DOG WHEN I WAS YOUNG. HIS NAME WAS RUSTY. JUST A MUT. SOONER BE ANY BREED, ONLY PAPERS WAS THE ONES HE THROWN UP IN THE YARD. RUSTY WAS QUIET A DOG. FOLLOWED ME AND MY SIBLINS EVERY WHERE. WELL ONE DAY RUSTY CAME HOME WITH AN WHITE RABBIT IN HIS MOUTH. I KNEW RIGHT THEN IT WAS THE NEIGHBOR KIDS PET RABBIT. I ALSO KNEW RUSTY DAYS WAS NUMBER IF THEY FOUND OUT HE KILLED THEIR PET. SO I TOOK THE RABBIT OUT OF RUSTY MOUTH AN WENT TO THE BATHROOM, WASHED IT AND BLOW DRY ITS FUR WITH MOMS HAIR BLOWER. THEN I QUIETLY WENT AN PUT IT BACK IN THE NEIGHBORS CAGE. WOW I HAD SAVED RUSTYS LIFE. THEN THAT EVENING THE NEIGHBORS DAD CAME OVER TALKING TO MY DAD. HE TOLD MY DAD THAT THERE WAS A SICK, EVIL PERSON IN OUR NEIGHBOR HOOD. HE TOLD DAD THAT THEIR RABBIT HAD DIED THREE DAYS EARLIER. AND THEY BURRIED IT. SOME SICK PERSON DUG IT UP AND CLEANED IT AND PUT IT BACK IN THE CAGE. AND THE KIDS CRIED AGAIN FOR THEIR DEAD RABBIT. HUH YOU EVER TRY TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT, OR FIX SOMETHING BROKEN JUST FOR IT TO FLY UP AND BIT YOU IN THE REAR. I NEVER ADMITTED THAT I WAS THAT SICK PERSON, TRYING TO SAVE MY DOG FROM I THOUGHT KILLING AN PET RABBIT.